Journalist Report – December 29th

Journalist Report
Ben Durkee, Crew 236 Journalist

Sol 10

I’m starting to think that we’re the problem children of Mars. Under our watch, the Hab’s toilet, heater, and power system have independently acted up. I’m not superstitious, but I could be convinced that we’re cursed. Maybe I’m a little superstitious.

I won’t go into the details of the toilet issue – reliving it in my head triggers my gag reflex. Just know that these Martian boys are making do.

The heater has occasionally been blowing cold air whenever we look away from it, like a playful thermal Weeping Angel. Explains why everyone’s staterooms have been comfortable at night while the loft becomes a cryogenic chamber. I always thought that heat rises, but maybe physics work differently on Mars.

The sun has been playing a one-sided game of hide-and-seek, proliferating our power predicament primarily produced by a perturbing propane paucity. I am so sorry about that sentence. I think I blacked out for a few seconds – probably from thinking about the sewage again.

But at the same time, maybe this crew’s dysfunction is our strength! We powered down all non-necessary systems and had breakfast in the dark, brought together by the camaraderie of our new Amish lifestyle. It was kinda like when you were a kid and the power went out, so you gathered around a flashlight with your family and chowed down on the ice cream before it could melt. Man, I miss ice cream. Maybe my family too, just an ounce. But mostly ice cream.

We also had our first EVA composed of all Martian rookies today! And it went off without a hitch. Take that, curse!

In the meantime, we veterans had a day at home, in which the others helped me with my outreach. By outreach, I mean me belting out ABBA’s Mamma Mia in various locations across the station. It’s hard work, you know.

Eventually, the sun overcame its cowardice and we were able to return to business as usual. We played some card games in the Hab. Dylan showed us some gorgeous photos he’s taken of various celestial bodies with the observatory. We wound down with a delicious Filipino stew made by Chef Vlad and Chef Pavi.

Later, we’ll be celebrating our newfound electricity by finishing Apollo 13. We’ve been trying for a few nights in a row now, but always get rudely interrupted by that pesky curse. Third time’s the charm, I hope.

Oh, I know what the problem is! Mars must be in retrograde – that’s gotta be it. I’ll be speaking with the crew astronomer to get this remedied right away. I bet he’s a Taurus. Classic Taurus.